Taming the Ego...                             
                   ... with the Power of Love

We all have basic needs for food, shelter and physical well-being, but when these basic needs have been achieved, getting more food, more money, more possessions or a bigger house does not produce increasing  happiness or enduring satisfaction. In fact, after our basic needs have been met, the primary cause of our daily suffering and dissatisfaction is our own troublesome ego.

The ego is little more than a hodgepodge collection of strategies devised by our own mind  in response to various experiences in our past. And, unfortunately, the ego's old strategies are often not the best response to the present situation. 

During our early childhood we begin to develop a deceptive sense of a separate and independent "self", which quickly grows to be quite a monster. Then, most of us spend the rest of our life trying to find an escape from our preoccupation with the endless chatter and turmoil of this fictitious self and its ineffective strategies. For example, our fears and anger are often only knee-jerk reactions, caused by our ego's projections of past events, which tend to distract us from truly experiencing the wonders of the present moment and dealing with all of life's situations in a loving and kind manner.

The existence of such mind-made fantasy is not necessarily a problem, the problem arises when we become so preoccupied with the fantasy that we lose touch with what is actually happening in this moment and lose touch with our own true nature, that inner Divine spark which would like to guide us to respond to every situation in a kind and loving manner. The ego is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master - so we have to find a way to limit the power and authority of our own ego.

The mind of an average person may be pictured as an unruly horse that jumps and kicks and throws anyone that tries to ride it. Masters of the world are those who have mastered themselves, and mastery lies in the control of the mind. If the mind became your obedient servant, the whole world is at your service.

Githa Series II, Psychology , Hazrat Inayat Khan (unpublished)

Fortunately, this troublesome little self is merely a covering, like a veil, over our inherent true nature, which remains ever-pure, untarnished, awaiting our return to our true nature, fully awake and calmly aware of what is actually happening in the present moment.

Our limited self is like a wall separating us from the Self of God. God is as far away from us as that wall is thick. The wisdom and justice of God are within us, and yet they are far away under the covering of the veil of the limited self.

In an Eastern Rose Garden, Hazrat Inayat Khan
 

There is much talk in various religious traditions about annihilating the ego, or killing the ego. But, actually, we need an ego. What we don't need is a dysfunctional ego. That is, we each need to have a basic sense of self protection and self-concern which sufficiently guides us to meet our basic needs for food, shelter and physical well-being, but beyond that we will not find any enduring happiness by following the whims of the ego. All of our undue self-centered concern and internal chatter, whether deliberate or habitual, forms a veil over our True Nature and the attendant simplicity of Being. For enduring happiness, we need to focus our attention on something other than the on-going chatter and troublesome strategies of our own ego.

The point is not to deny our ego, but to extricate ourselves from our exclusive preoccupation with it.                     
                                                    One-Liners, by Ram Dass

In order to find some relief from the chatter and misguidance of the ego, we need to begin to recognize a couple of our most pernicious adversaries: resisting and clinging. If we can learn to recognize and overcome these two, we'll be well on the way toward success at finding both enduring peace and enduring satisfaction in all aspects of life.

Our tendency toward excessive preoccupation with matters revolving around "I", "me" and "mine" is largely related to these two common, yet often dysfunctional, attributes of the ego: resisting (struggle and aversion) and clinging (attachment and desire). With some careful observation, the presence of these two troublesome ego attributes can easily be found in one's own daily life.

In limited amounts, the desire and aversion unleashed by the ego can be normal and helpful, and can give us a brief experience of satisfaction. But when our resisting and clinging lead us into excessive preoccupation with concerns about "I", "me" and "mine", then these attributes inevitably lead to a dysfunctional life which lacks an enduring sense of well-being, satisfaction and happiness.

Let's take a more detailed look at each of these two potentially troublesome attributes of the ego, which in moderate amounts can be useful, but which in excess quickly lead to great suffering.

Resisting

Resisting manifests in many forms including a tendency to  reject, refuse, insult, separate, push away, or remove ourselves from a situation. Resisting leads to estrangement, animosity, dread, and fearfulness. Resisting is the underlying cause of anger, hatred and violence.

Resisting leads us to push something away, depriving us of the opportunity to develop a new, more productive response to the situation.

Clinging

Clinging manifests in many forms including a tendency to attach, grasp, hold on, pursue or force ourselves into a situation. Clinging leads to dependency, addiction, expectations and frustration. Clinging is  the underlying cause of habitual behaviors and shallow relationships.

Clinging leads us to continue to want "more", even when our basic needs have been met. Clinging leads us into unhealthy relationships.

Taking Action

Now, armed with a basic understanding of these two adversaries, begin to carefully watch your own behavior for their telltale evidence, such as agitation, frustration, dissatisfaction, disappointment or  unhappiness. At first, you may not even notice the effects of clinging and resisting until a few days after it happens. But, with further practice, you'll begin to notice the effects of clinging and resisting that happened more recently, perhaps that same day. With even more practice, you'll begin to catch yourself in the act. And, eventually, you'll be aware of the presence of troublesome behaviors even before they actually happen.

As you examine the troublesome situations in your daily life, you'll begin to see some of your own behavior patterns, and may also notice the interdependent arising of resisting and clinging - for example noticing that resisting something is the result of clinging to an old behavior pattern, or that clinging to something is the result of resisting change. Resisting and clinging are inextricably bound together.

Although this process of rising above troublesome behaviors such as resisting and clinging may seem like a new idea, the general idea been around for quite some time:

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

Matthew 5:30-42, New King James Version

Nonetheless, recognizing the problem is only part of the task at hand. In order to refashion your own personality, you'll need a new manner of behavior to replace the old ineffective behaviors. And fortunately, there is a time proven middle path between these extremes of resisting and clinging.

The Power of Love

The middle path which we need to walk between resisting and clinging is a path by which one rises above both of those dysfunctional extremes... this is the path of love. The true lover lives only for the pleasure of the beloved, is grateful for whatever is received, and has no need to resist anything or cling to anything.

What do I mean by love? It is such a word that one cannot give one meaning. All attributes like kindness, gentleness, goodness, humbleness, mildness, fineness, are names of one and the same thing. Love therefore is that stream which when it rises falls in the form of a fountain, and each stream coming down is a virtue. All virtues taught by books or by a religious person have no strength and life because they have been learned; a virtue that is learned has no power, no life. The virtue that naturally springs from the depth of the heart, the virtue that rises from the love-spring and then falls as many different attributes, that virtue is real. There is a Hindustani saying, 'No matter how much wealth you have, if you do not have the treasure of virtue, it is of no use'. The true riches is the ever increasing spring of love from which all virtues come.The Smiling Forehead, Hazrat Inayat Khan

This path of love is certainly not a new idea. Here's how it was expressed by Jesus over 2000 years ago:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48, New King James Version

This is Freedom: To be joyfully appreciative for whatever may arise. Jesus' disciple Paul further reminded us that love is a mighty bond of perfection which deserves to be accompanied by a sense of gratitude:

But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Colossians 3:14-15,  New King James Version

Really, the essence of this shift from resisting/clinging to loving is whether we choose to experience life through the clutter, restlessness and difficulties of the emotional dramas which are fabricated in our own mind, or we choose to experience life in a calm, happy, ever-aware, heart-centered manner which is empowered by that Divine spark within. The head (when dominated by the little self) is full of endless difficulties, restless chatter, emotion and drama, while, in contrast, the heart calmly responds in a lovingly appropriate manner, bringing harmony, beauty and ease to every situation.

There are people who look at life through their brain, their head, and there are others who look at life through their heart. Between these two points of view there is a vast difference...

The Smiling Forehead, Hazrat Inayat Khan

A Plan for Success

To learn to tame the ego, we must first learn to recognize how the troublesome traits of resisting (struggle and aversion) and clinging (attachment and desire) are adversely affecting our own daily life. Initially, these ineffective strategies may be most noticeable in someone else's behavior, but gradually you'll be able to see your own troublesome traits, and understand how they are restricting your enjoyment of life. All situations which revolve around emotional drama or self-centered dialog are merely fabrications of the mind which limit your access to the enduring peace and tranquility which are your Divine birthright.

He who does not direct his own mind lacks mastery... If he does not control his mind, he is not a master but a slave. It lies with his own mind whether he shall be master, or whether he shall be slave. He is slave when he neglects to be master; he is master if he cares to be master.

Mastery lies not merely in stilling the mind, but in directing it towards whatever point we desire, in allowing it to be active as far as we wish, in using it to fulfill our purpose, in causing it to be still when we want to still it. He who has come to this has created his heaven within himself; he has no need to wait for a heaven in the hereafter, for he has produced it within his own mind now.

In an Eastern Rose Garden, Hazrat Inayat Khan

Then, after recognizing the problem, begin to move toward love at every opportunity, toward the loving acceptance of all things just as they are in this moment. That does not mean that you condone or perpetuate any evils, but merely that you see exactly what is happening without adding any of your own mind's drama, emotions or commentary. Armed with such clear vision of precisely what is actually happening, rather than the much larger drama which you could so easily create out of it, you will easily respond to every situation in a manner which will help to foster love, harmony and beauty amongst everyone involved. Recognizing that we're all in this together, it becomes quite easy to travel this path with love and gratitude for all that you encounter.

How can one explain spiritual progress? What is it? What is it like? Spiritual progress is the changing of the point of view. There is only one way to recognize this progress, and that is to see the progress in one's own outlook on life, to ask oneself the question, 'How do I look at life?' This one can do by not judging others, but by being only concerned with one's own outlook.

Sufi Mysticism, Hazrat Inayat Khan

As you gradually discover and perfect your own unique manner of living from the heart, living each moment with peaceful loving-kindness, generosity and compassion for all, then the old ineffective tendencies toward resisting and clinging will simply fall by the wayside, just as the toys of our childhood have fallen by the wayside, unneeded.

Taming the ego requires some effort, and some changes. Great transformations require a change of one's own outlook, and this taming of the ego is no exception. It's just a matter of letting your true nature, the Divine spark deep within you, be the foundation for your life, the guiding light of your life, and seeing how your outlook on everything changes when viewed from that rock-solid foundation, showering everything with an endless flow of love, harmony and beauty.

with love,
     wahiduddin

http://wahiduddin.net/views/taming.htm

The Balance between Heart and Brain Intelligence

Mind is not physical and so its not commensurate with the brain. Mind is our soul or spirit. Moreover, 3D science has already ascertained that 60-65% of the cells in our heart are neural; in effect, identical to brain cells.(1) Presumably that is why we are often exhorted to follow our heart and `think from the heart.' Arguably then, our mind is the 'intelligent force' behind the intuitive thoughts and feelings we all experience and those intuitive thoughts and feelings come to us through our heart. In other words information coming to us from Source is transmitted to us via our heart neurons rather than through our neural brain networks. 
 (Ron Chapman)

Throughout the ages, the heart has been referred to as a source of not
only virtue and love, but also of intelligence. One of the most
prevalent themes in ancient traditions and inspirational writing is
the heart as a flowing spring of intelligence.

Many ancient cultures, including the Mesopotamian, Egyptian,
Babylonian, and Greek, assert that the heart is the primary organ
responsible for influencing and directing our emotions and our
decision-making ability. Similar perspectives of the heart as a source
of intelligence are found in Hebrew, Christian, Chinese, Hindu, and
Islamic traditions. For example, the Old Testament saying in Proverbs
23:7, "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he," is further
developed in the New Testament in Luke 5:22, "What reason ye in your
hearts?"

The characteristic of psychic and spiritual balance and the attainment of physical bodily equilibrium are recognized as the essence of Yoga traditions, which also identifies the heart as the seat of individual consciousness and the center of life. In traditional Chinese medicine, the heart is seen as the connection between the mind and the body, forming a bridge between the two. And so it is.

Despite all these traditions and colourful heart metaphors, Western science and society persist in proclaiming that the heart is just a ten-ounce muscle that pumps blood and maintains circulation until we die. Medical science asserts that the brain rules all of the body's organs, including the heart. Medical science does not bother to explain how this situation can occur despite the fact that it has been scientifically demonstrated that the heart starts beating in the unborn fetus BEFORE the brain has been formed.

Neuroscientists have recently discovered exciting new information
about the heart that makes us realize it's far more complex than we'd
ever imagined. Instead of simply pumping blood, it appears that it may direct and align many systems in the body so that they can function in
harmony with one another.

These scientists have found that the heart has its own independent
nervous system – a complex system referred to as "the brain in the
heart." There are at least forty thousand neurons (nerve cells) in the
heart – as many as are found in various subcortical centres of the brain.

The heart communicates with the brain and the rest of the body in
three ways documented by solid scientific evidence: neurologically
(through transmissions of nerve impulses), biochemically (through
hormones and neurotransmitters), and biophysically (through pressure
waves). In addition, growing scientific evidence suggests that the
heart may communicate with the brain and body in a fourth way –
energetically (through electromagnetic field interactions). Through
these biological communication systems, the heart has a significant
influence on the function of our brains and all our physical systems.

The scientific evidence shows that the heart uses these methods to send our brain extensive emotional and intuitive signals. Along with this understanding that the heart is in constant communication with the brain, scientists have discovered that our hearts seem to be the "intelligent force" behind the intuitive thoughts and feelings we all experience.

Accepting that heart intelligence, with its premise of the heart as a primary source of emotions, gives us a new paradigm for understanding our emotions. It also establishes a strong scientific tie between our psychic and physical wellness and our emotional management. The more we learn to listen to and follow our heart intelligence, the more
educated, balanced, and coherent our emotions become. And it naturally
follows that the more balanced and coherent our emotions become, the
less likely we will be to experience stress, sickness and disease.

Because of the ever growing scientific research on heart intelligence,
it may be time we developed a new personal attitude about following
our hearts."
See: http://www.therealessentials.com/followyourheart.html 

Joseph Chilton Pearce (2) puts it this way:

`The idea that we can think with our hearts is no longer just a
metaphor, but is, in fact, a very real phenomenon. We now know this
because the combined research of two or three fields is proving that
the heart is the major center of intelligence in human beings.
Molecular biologists have discovered that the heart is the body's most
important endocrine gland. In response to our experience of the world,
it produces and releases a major hormone, ANF—which stands for Atriol Neuriatic Factor—that profoundly effects every operation in the limbic structure, or what we refer to as the "emotional brain." This includesthe hippocampal area where memory and learning take place, and also the control centers for the entire hormonal system. And
neurocardiologist have found that 60 to 65% of the cells of the heart
are actually neural cells, not muscle cells as was previously believed. They are identical to the neural cells in the brain, operating through the same connecting links called ganglia, with the same axonal and dendritic connections that take place in the brain, as well as through the very same kinds of neurotransmitters found in the brain.

Quite literally, in other words, there is a "brain" in the heart, whose ganglia are linked to every major organ in the body, to the entire muscle spindle system that uniquely enables humans to express their emotions. About half of the heart's neural cells are involved in translating information sent to it from all over the body so that it can keep the body working as one harmonious whole. And the other half make up a very large, unmediated neural connection with the emotional brain in our head and carry on a twenty-four-hour-a-day dialogue between the heart and the brain that we are not even aware of.

The heart responds to messages sent to it from the emotional brain,
which has been busy monitoring the interior environment of dynamic
states such as the emotions and the auto-immune system, guiding
behavior, and contributing to our sense of personal identity. The
emotional brain makes a qualitative evaluation of our experience of
this world and sends that information instant-by-instant down to the
heart. In return, the heart exhorts the brain to make the appropriate
response. All of this is usually on a non-conscious level.

In other words, the responses that the heart makes, effect the entire
human system. Meanwhile, biophysicists have discovered that the heart
is also a very powerful electromagnetic generator. It creates an
electromagnetic field that encompasses the body and extends out
anywhere from eight to twelve feet away from it. It is so powerful
that you can take an electrocardiogram reading from as far as three
feet away from the body.

The field the heart produces is holographic, meaning that you can read
it from any point on the body and from any point within the field. No
matter how microscopic the sample is, you can receive the information
of the entire field. The intriguing thing is how profoundly this
electromagnetic field affects the brain. All indications are that it
furnishes the whole radio wave spectrum from which the brain draws its
material to create our internal experience of the world.
http://www.ratical.org/many_worlds/JCP99.html 

Perhaps most importantly, we now know that the radio spectrum of the
heart is profoundly affected by our emotional response to our world.
Our emotional response changes the heart's electromagnetic spectrum,
which is what the brain feeds on. Ultimately, everything in our lives
hinges on our emotional response to specific events.' See:
http://www.ratical.org/many_worlds/JCP99.html 

END NOTES

(1) In recent years, neuroscientist Dr. Armour made the exciting
discovery that the heart has its own intrinsic brain and nervous
system. This helped to explain what physiologists at the Fels Research
Institute* found in the 1970's — the brain (in the head) was dutifully
obeying messages being sent from "the brain in the heart." Doc Childre
and colleagues at the Institute of HeartMath take these discoveries
even further. HeartMath researchers have established the heart's
capacity to "think for itself." Their aim was to determine how the
heart formulates logic and influences behavior. HeartMath researchers
believe that the heart communicates with the brain and the rest of the
body through four biological communication systems. Through these
systems, the heart has a significant influence on the function of our
brains and all our bodily systems. IHM's extensive research led to a
number of published studies in medical journals such as The American
Journal of Cardiology, Stress Medicine and Integrative Physiological
and Behavioral Science.

…. According to co-authors Childre and Martin, as we learn to become
more heart intelligent and increase the emotional balance and
heart/brain coherence in ourselves, new enhanced levels of mental
clarity, productivity, physical energy, overall attitude and quality
of life may well surprise us.'
http://www.deepplanet.com/articles.asp?ArticleID=52&SectionID=4 
http://www.heartmath.org/research/our-heart-brain.html 
http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Heart_and_Brain/id/1961 
http://www.therealessentials.com/followyourheart.html 

*http://www.temple.edu/medicine/departments_centers/research/fels.htm 

SO, 3D research confirms that the advice we get from the Celestials
and our Space Brethren is SPOT ON! We become what we think and what we
think depends on what we feel. And our feelings can be intuitively
intelligent. Thus we find that 3D research is rapidly confirming the
truth of the basic spiritual message we receive from the Celestials.
Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believe: BUT ultimately we
will not have to believe – we will KNOW, both intuitively and in reality.

Source; http://abundanthope.net/pages/Ron_71/The_Balance_between_Heart_and_Brain_Intelligence_4123_printer.shtml

Full Heart, Empty Mind

There is no path to truth, it must come to you. Truth can come to you only when your mind and heart are simple, clear, and there is love in your heart; not if your heart is filled with the things of the mind. When there is love in your heart, you do not talk about organizing for brotherhood; you do not talk about belief, you do not talk about division or the powers that create division, you need not seek reconciliation. Then you are a simply a human being without a label, without a country. This means that you must strip yourself of all those things and allow truth to come into being; and it can come only when the mind is empty, when the mind ceases to create. Then it will come without your invitation. Then it will come as swiftly as the wind and unbeknown. It comes obscurely, not when you are watching, wanting. It is there as sudden as sunlight, as pure as the night; but to receive it, the heart must be full and the mind empty. Now you have the mind full and your heart empty.

Be in communion with sorrow 

 Most of us are not in communion with anything. We are not directly in communion with our friends, with our wives, with our children. So to understand sorrow, surely you must love it, must you not? That is, you must be in direct communion with it. If you would understand something, your neighbor, your wife, or any relationship, if you would understand something completely, you must be near it. You must come to it without any objection, prejudice, condemnation, or repulsion; you must look at it, must you not? If I would understand you, I must have no prejudices about you. I must be capable of looking at you, not through barriers, screens of my prejudices and conditionings. I must be in communion with you, which means I must love you. Similarly, if I would understand sorrow, I must love it, I must be in communion with it. I cannot do so because I am running away from it through explanations, through theories, through hopes, through postponements, which are all the process of verbalization. So words prevent me from being in communion with sorrow. Words prevent me -words of explanations, rationalizations, which are still words, which are the mental process- from being directly in communion with sorrow. It is only when I am in communion with sorrow that I understand it.

Live with sorrow    
   
We all have sorrow. Don't you have sorrow in one form or another? And do you want to know about it? If you do, you can analyze it and explain why you suffer. You can read books on the subject, or go to the church, and you will soon know something about sorrow. But I am not talking about that; I am talking about the ending of sorrow. Knowledge does not end sorrow. The ending of sorrow begins with the facing of psychological facts within oneself and being totally aware of all the implications of those facts from moment to moment. This means never escaping from the fact that one is in sorrow, never rationalizing it, never offering an opinion about it, but living with that fact completely.
You know, to live with the beauty of those mountains and not get accustomed to it is very difficult. You have beheld those mountains, heard the stream, and seen the shadows creep across the valley, day after day; and have you not noticed how easily you get used to it all? You say, 'Yes, it is quite beautiful,' and you pass by. To live with beauty, or to live with an ugly thing, and not become habituated to it requires enormous energy,an awareness that does not allow your mind to grow dull. In the same way, sorrow dulls the mind if you merely get used to it,and most of us do get used to it. But you need not get used to sorrow. You can live with sorrow, understand it, go into it -but not in order to know about it. You know that sorrow is there; it is a fact, and there is nothing more to know. You have to live. 

An immensity beyond all measure                                                              

What happens when you lose someone by death? The immediate reaction is a sense of paralysis, and when you come out of that state of shock, there is what we call sorrow. Now, what does that word sorrow mean? The companionship, the happy words, the walks, the many pleasant things you did and hoped to do together -all this is taken away in a second, and you are left empty, naked, lonely. That is what you are objecting to, that is what the mind rebels against: being suddenly left to itself, utterly lonely, empty, without any support. Now, what matters is to live with that emptiness, just to live with it without any reaction, without rationalizing it, without running away from it to mediums, to the theory of reincarnation, and all that stupid nonsense,to live with it with your whole being. And if you go into it step by step you will find that there is an ending of sorrow,a real ending, not just a verbal ending, not the superficial ending that comes through escape, through identification with a concept, or commitment to an idea. Then you will find there is nothing to protect, because the mind is completely empty and is no longer reacting in the sense of trying to fill that emptiness; and when all sorrow has thus come to an end, you will have started on another journey,a journey that has no ending and no beginning. There is an immensity that is beyond all measure, but you cannot possibly enter into that world without the total ending of sorrow.

J.Krishnamurti- Book of life

Keep discontent alive

"Is not discontent essential in our life, to any question, to any inquiry, to probing, to finding out what is the real, what is Truth, what is essential in life? I may have this flaming discontent in college; and then I get a good job and this discontent vanishes. I am satisfied, I struggle to maintain my family, I have to earn a livelihood and so my discontent is calmed, destroyed, and I become a mediocre entity satisfied with things of life, and I am not discontent. But the flame has to be maintained from the beginning to the end, so that there is true inquiry, true probing into the problem of what discontent is. Because the mind seeks very easily a drug to make it content with virtues, with qualities, with ideas, with actions, it establishes a routine and gets caught up in it. We are quite familiar with that, but our problem is not how to calm discontent, but how to keep it smoldering, alive, vital. All our religious books, all our gurus, all political systems pacify the mind, quieten the mind, influence the mind to subside, to put aside discontent and wallow in some form of contentment. Is it not essential to be discontented in order to find what is true?"




Source: http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/krishnamurti-teachings/view-daily-quote/20110726.php
J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life